by Cathee Poulsen
There’s something special about waking up every morning to find my favorite person is there. And I’ve had that happy experience for 53 years.
It is inevitable that when anyone hears it’s our anniversary and that we’ve past the half century mark, they ask some version of “How’d ya do it?”
It’s a fair question and maybe even an honest one sometimes, though mostly it’s what people think they’re supposed to say to you. But for those who want an honest answer, this blog’s for you!
Is the Answer to a Good Marriage Love?
I’m certain that in the early years of our marriage my answer would have been that only agape love, spiritual love, should be the number one priority in a solid marriage. That kind of love is based on commitment and sacrifice. We’ve heard countless sermons on that topic but today I wouldn’t say that’s what’s most important.
Sexual love, or eros, is probably the driving force in many young marriages today. And without question, it’s part of the package. After all, how could Adam and Eve fulfill God’s command to be fruitful and multiply without eros. It saddens me to know so many couples—Christian couples—that have no physical relationship whatsoever. This is not God’s plan and I don’t think He’s pleased when a couple no longer have this blessing in their lives. (See 1 Cor. 7:5).
But, let’s be honest here, our sexual relationship in our 70s is not exactly what it was when we were 20, and if that was the #1 priority, we’d probably be in trouble. We may have to work at it a little harder these days, but that physical connection is paramount.
What about Phileo Love?
A relationship where your spouse is your best friend? That’s the maximum. Without that intimate friendship, a 50 year old relationship can be pretty stale and ho-hum.
I first met Bob Poulsen when I was 11. My girlfriend’s mother worked with Bob’s mother and I went with them to his house one day. But when we started dating I was 17 and he was 21. Very quickly he became my best friend and I found myself sharing things with him I’d never told anyone else.
I believe that kind of love is what has carried us through these years of pain, loss, joy, elation, and everything in between.
Here’s What Friendship in a Marriage Looks Like:
- Bob turning off the curling iron without saying anything to me when I’ve left it on for the umpteenth time.
- Me holding my comments when he’s outside beating lizards and geckos to death with his handmade club and destroying the ecosystem.
- Bob making the bed. Every. Single. Day.
- Me washing out the little hairs from his electric razor one hour after I just cleaned the bathroom sink.
- Having breakfast on the deck together, walking outside before bed to see the full moon, holding hands in church, deciding to ditch the diet and go get a hot fudge sundae.
One of our songs in the 1960s was “There’s a Summer Place.” It’s still a favorite and as I read the lyrics they are my heart for this man. I wouldn’t trade any of it and all I know is that today I’m excited to say I’ve been married to my best friend for 53 years.
And the sweet secret of
A summer place
Is that it’s anywhere
When two people share
All their hopes
All their dreams
All their love
Happy Anniversary, you two!!!
Paul and I both loved this piece! That is our # too this year and it is amazing for me to look back, to remember where we were and how God has been doing His work all these years. It’s wonderful having sweet friendship in a marriage!
Blessings, you two!
Beautiful and touching from the heart piece, Cathee. Thank you!!!
Another wonderful message that reassures me that friendship and love-ship in marriage, especially with Christ in the center, gets better with age . . . like a fine wine. It’s the simple things like a hug or holding hands a sweet complement or taking a walk at sunset that seems to provide more pleasure as we age.
HAPPY 53 YEARS! May your lives grow sweeter each year.
This was awesome and congratulations on 53 wonderful years together! I am similarly blessed with my dear hubsy of only 5 years. 🙂
Love you guys~
Lynnie
As I read this, I thought of many things Cathee and I do for eachother. She only scratched the surface just to give you, the reader, a couple of examples. She also didn’t mention the many times we have stood toe to toe with our differing opinions and have not been so pleasent to each other. Then the apologies that come soon after or the realization that that whole incident was ridiculous and you smile at each other knowing how much you love each other and are willing to forgive even without words. I love you Cathee Poulsen and thank you for 53 years of your life loving me just as I’m am. You deserve better!
Happy Anniversary Cathy & Bob , wishing you many more blessed years together!
Loved reading this blog and your story.
Perfect blog and so true. Different seasons different Eros love. Blessings to you both
Oh I wish every young couple would read this. Great advice and soooo true.
Such a great blog with so much wisdom. You both are extraordinary people with real devotion to each other and it shows.
I’ve learned from watching and listening to you both and I pray a smudge rubs off on me.
You guys are the best and I hope you share many more years with each other and me!
A smidge not smudge! LOL
Happy for you all 53 + times
Best blog ever Cat! I love and share your perspective on what makes a marriage great. We could write a book on all the little things each of us does for the other in a good marriage…things that nobody knows about and will never see but that deepen our love for each other every day.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. Congratulations on 53 years! WhooHoo!
Very sweet. I know you have been through many trials and it would be wonderful if you did a follow-up blog and touch on how you both got through all the challenges you have faced in 53 years. You have much to share Cathee. The website is superb. I love the photos you have chosen.
Truer words never spoken my friend. Happiest of days to both of you.
Congratulations on your 53rd anniversary and on the launching of your new website! May the Lord bless you with countless more years of happiness as you continue to serve Him together!