3 Ways to Be the Friend People Want

by Texas Stready

Most of my life’s been spent around selfish people. Maybe you haven’t been to prison, a halfway house, or a drug program. Still, I venture to say your feelings are similar. The reason I can gamble this is true is because, no matter how good people consider themselves, something about being born with skin on makes us a bit “fleshy,” shall we say.

Hum… isn’t the thought that someone else being selfish is itself established in selfishness?

All About Me

Our society’s become sharp and progressive. We stay on the cutting edge of technology. This is a good thing. However, indulgence in any area can be dangerous. Life in the US of A, can easily be described as a self-serving, have-it-your-way existence.

Wonder if that’s what the Pilgrims envisioned?

Now-now, don’t get scared. Politics is not where this is headed. No doubt our system’s broken, but I refuse to engage in that controversy. Not here. The questions I’m asking originate from an area void of regulations. One whose biggest demands are produced with a coarse and dangerous intensity. A cannibalistic place called basic human needs.

Whole Living

Acceptance is a fundamental desire. Thing is, we’ve become a culture that is so self-absorbed that other people’s needs have become secondary. When will we realize that healthy living requires we deal with each virus that invades our members.

True friends are extremely necessary, yet few and far between. Everybody knows this, but little is being done to remedy our diseased behaviors. It’s foolish to know what’s wrong and refuse to repair it. Cultivating change is possible—all that’s required is one step at a time.

Look Alive

In eighth grade I signed up for the volleyball team. The thing I remember most about that season was Coach Crawford saying, “Okay girls, look alive, look alive!” When she first said it, I thought it was strange, but before long, hearing it made me pay attention.

During those practices I truly learned what teamwork looked like. It’s important to remain aware of what’s happening around us, but what’s most important is that we do our part. Like my grandma always said, “To have a friend, you must be a friend.”

Here are three ways to be the friend people want.

1. Stop, look, and listen – Nothing validates folks more than being heard. In today’s world we have the horrible habit of multi-tasking. Engagement in assorted activities makes everything we do less effective. Being a good friend requires our undivided attention. (James 1:19 NASB)

1. Backup and shut up – Maybe you think you’re the only one who knows, but you’re a long way from perfect. This fact alone leaves us with no right to take jurisdiction over someone else’s issues. Not judging is the most underused antidote a friend possesses. (Proverbs 17:17 VOICE)

1. Encourage enterprise – Risk-taking is risky business, but it’s also what keeps us relevant. If no one is willing to try something new, then we’ll all end up stale and crusty. A friend who is full of encouragement is a great friend to be had. (2 Corinthians 1:6 VOICE)

Take A Chill Pill

You can start now. Take the first step in losing the unwanted fat of “self.” I’m well aware there’s only so much you can do, but there are things to do. Learning to give back is a huge one. You’d do well to remember that always taking and never giving is what lands you centerstage on “The Biggest Loser,” so full of yourself no one else can stand you.