Look at God
Sonya Pittman
Sonya, last name Pittman. Number 12044-002. That’s my prison number but I’m pretty sure I’ve always been a number. Must have started at zero because even the government didn’t step in to save me from the intense abuse I experienced throughout childhood. Don’t remember a time when chemicals, crime, and crises were not on my radar.
Born into hell, I witnessed things no five-year-olds should endure. Drunken rants circulated through our house, often ending face-down in the front yard. Confusing conversations about colors and beasts turned into violent physical altercations of every sort, causing the flames of fear to consume my heart. I trusted no one.
I mean, how do you get over finding Daddy on the bathroom floor, bloody needle still hanging from his arm? Screaming in horror, shaking his body, and hoping he won’t wake up at the same time.
By thirteen, I was smoking crack—with my parents—then came meth. Strung out by the age of fifteen. Everything about this life continued until, at the age of twenty-nine, I landed in federal prison for conspiracy to manufacture/distribute methamphetamine. After my 21-month sentence I was released and did pretty well for a good while.
When Mr. Looks So Good came along I was instantly attracted. But, because I had unhealed childhood wounds, I did not recognize that I was returning to my abusive history. This destructive choice led to a three-year toxic relationship of wild drug use and violent beatings. Finally, after a terrifying night of sheer insanity, I ran. Fast and furious—as far away as I could get.
And guess where I landed? In a deeper hell. One that resulted in a new federal case for possession of methamphetamine. In the end, I received the minimum mandatory sentence of twenty-year sentence. Is this better? Is this worse? Do I deserve it? Will I live through it? Year after year of disgusting and devastating unanswered questions.
Finally, I attended a chapel service and heard what you always hear at church. “God loves you no matter what.” All I could do was laugh. Until later that night. Alone in my bed, a strange feeling came over me. A sliver of hope was all I had, but that was enough. I cried out to a God I wasn’t even sure existed. I cried and cried and cried. And when I finished crying I knew something had changed. Couldn’t explain it or even understand it, but I knew I was different.
From that day forward, I signed up and completed every class I had the opportunity to enroll in. I began to see and understand the dysfunction I was born into. Even though I was learning there was a way out, it seemed I would never find it.
The people I was now around were different, and as I listened to them talk I decided I could be different as well. I began to talk to God more often, and He began to talk back. I was learning and growing, wanting different and becoming different.
One day I ran across the book Deep In the Heart of Texas. Although this chick didn’t grow up like me, she thought like I did. The more I read, the more I identified with her. It was so cool.
Texas made no excuses and didn’t blame anyone. She just kept turning to God, and He was there. Every single time—He was there. And I was experiencing this too. I began to understand that how I got here was not what mattered, but who I turned to did matter. And that was Jesus. The One who gave His life to save me.
I decided to write Texas and much to my surprise, she wrote me back. Talk about a boost in faith. I sent her the chaplain’s name and asked if she would come to Carswell Federal Prison and share her story. I never heard from her again but the chaplain told me Texas had contacted her and was planning to come. You can’t imagine how excited I was.
Everything was in the works until the warden called off the engagement because he found out I’d written her. I was heartbroken and discouraged but nothing was going to break up my relationship with God.
One day during our usual and lengthy conversations, the Lord spoke to me. “You will be home by Thanksgiving.”
How is this possible? I had nine years left on my sentence. It seemed completely ridiculous, but I knew it was God and He had proven Himself to be trustworthy in every other conversation we’d had. Everyone thought I was crazy, but I kept believing. And I knew Chaplin Wells and Texas were believing with me. I was going home. And I was going to claim this as true come hell or high water.
Within months I received a notice saying a law had changed and the judge would be revisiting my case. What happened next is a straight-up modern-day miracle. It’s true. The Monday before Thanksgiving I was indeed released from prison.
Texas, Pippi, and Chaplin Wells at Carswell Prison, Fort Worth Texas
Of course, I have been in touch with Texas, and just last week she went to speak at Carswell Federal Prison in Fort Worth Texas. She stayed in touch with Chaplin Wells and once I was gone was permitted entry. That’s what I like about her most, she never gives up. This keeps me reminded that I can do the same thing.
God can do anything. Anything! And if you’re not sure He’s real, all you have to do is ask Him to prove Himself to you. He will—come hell or high water.
Written by Texas and Tom – T-N-T
God cares for us and can use us wherever we are.
Yes- Ain’t that grand.
Wow! A miracle story of God’s unfailing love. The whole story is just a demonstration of how God brings into our lives exactly what we need at the moment we need it if we’re ready to surrender to his will. God bless you, Sonya as you follow your rabbi and become like him and do the things he did. You are becoming a true follower of Christ. Of course I’m delighted to be on the other end of the story and to see how God uses you, Texas. That’s another miracle and not even the half has been told so far. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to be part of this story as well and to witness you turn beauty to ashes over and over again.
I didn’t share these details with you because I wanted you to read this blog and be as shocked as me and everyone else by the wonder of who God proves Himself to be continually. Love you, Mom.
Thank you so very much for your encouragement!
As the children of God living in the reality of His will, our everyday existence is miraculous. Belonging in and to a spiritual world we’re hardly aware of most of the time, so many miracles of God’s infinite love and creativity are simply assumed. Which is why, what happened with Sonya and her early release stands out as a magnifcent, obvious example of the power of prayer and the goodness of God–an undeniable miracle! A reminder to all of us of a fundamental truth and the nearness of God–to all and at all times. Amen. T.
I amen and amen. Thank you for all your hard work and faithful prayer for this ministry and this article.
Thank you Tom. You are exactly right, the persistence of prayer brought me not only closer to God but allowed Him to receive glory and honor to the many who saw me pray relentlessly and be awarded my freedom.
God Is good! Thank you so much for sharing !! May God keep opening doors to you and your Ministry.
What a blessing it is to call you my friend. Love you so much, Javier.
Praise God! Thank you for sharing this amazing story of his hope. He is the promise keeper, light in the darkness that we all need!
Amen!!!
This is an amazing testimony to God’s love and what true faith will accomplish in those that call Jesus Lord!!! Thank you Texas for sharing encouragement to all who think they are without hope, with real life accounts. Love ya girl!!
Thanks for this comment. I love my job.
You’re very welcome. I share to install hope in others that our God is the same today and He was thousands of years ago. He is still a mighty God of miracles!
Another wonderful testimony! Texas’s story is so relatable. It’s easy to connect to the human struggle we all have: Will my life just end when I die? Is this God thing even worth pursuing? Well, it IS and once you catch fire for the Lord there will be NO more turmoil. It’s not all butterflies and rainbows; you’ll have your struggles. But you’ll be so much better off in this life and your everlasting life in Heaven. Stay blessed!
And more than just looking forward to heaven we have everything we need to make life, not just tolerable, but exciting and purposeful – right here, right now. God doesn’t just fulfill He sustains as well. He’s amazing. Thanks for this comment.
Thank you and yes I felt extremely connected to Texas from the day I began reading her book. Not only are we sisters in Christ but our setbacks and comebacks seemed to mirror one another in so many ways. We serve an amazing God who lifts us up in our times of tragedy.
I am so honored to have my story told and shared by a woman who shares my plight. Thank you Texas for taking the time to engage with me during my incarceration and checking in on me and my progress since being released. You are such an inspiration, especially regarding my recovery. And more than anything I thank God for placing someone of your character in my path! To God be the glory of it all!!
Tears. Chills! It is such a huge honor and privilege. I am so grateful to have the role God has given me. You are doing fantastic and I am so very proud of you. Praise you, Jesus.
Another great story. God is always working and has each and every person on His heart. He has you before you have him.
Total awesomeness. Always and forever.
Thank you Joan and yes I see Alize now the many times God was with me and carrying me when I thought I was alone.
It is so amazing to watch God change lives when they make the decision to be obedient to him. Texas, you are a perfect example of that. You carry that to the lost in this world now you are seeing the fruits from your labor. Hallelujah thank you Jesus.
Thanks, Mitch. Definitely couldn’t have done any of it without you guys!! You’ve been there from the start.
Yes, praise God for those of us who inspire others with our testimonies of surrender and rescue!
I love real life stories of the Lord demonstrating His love and healing in the lives of broken people. He continues to work His miracles in so many lives because of your faithfulness, Texas…thank you!
Thank you, for leaving a comment. And thank you Lord for giving me this privilege.
Now that’s what I call faithful persistence!!! Well done , now you are free to do Gods work!
Amen!!
Thank you Mary. I pray this is only the beginning.
God is amazing and faithful!
Soooo true